Dog Poem About The Cone Of Shame

The Cone Sets a Tone All It’s Own

Please don’t tell me that I’m all alone

In loving the fashion effect of the cone.

I’m aware it’s considered completely heretical

To wear it for reasons strictly unmedical.

But I like the way it frames my face

And gives my head its very own space.

I’ve been told it makes me look rather regal.

(Anyway, that’s according to next door’s beagle.)

The only downside, if I may be cross,

Is that it makes it impossible to sniff my own ass.

Poem About Dogs Protecting Their Yard

When Other Dogs Want to Use Your Yard

To Every Dog

Take your crap elsewhere!

Don’t be so seedy!

Can’t you poop at your own place?

Who said my patch was yours to deface

With your artless fecal graffiti?

C’mon, buddy, and be a trooper

Not an indiscriminate, wandering pooper!

Like me, you wouldn’t find it hard


Poem About Taking Your Dog Potty At Night

Into The S**tfilled Night

I’m ready for my walk.

My boots are laced up tight.

So leash me good and send me out

Into the shit-filled night.

Neither glass nor stones nor phlegm in the street,

Nor any of the crap with which the yard’s replete

Will cause my sensitive paws to freak

Or stop this dog from taking a leak.